The clothes are supposed to make the man, but sometimes guys get stuck in ridiculous costumes for the roles they play. If the costumes make a hero or villain look stupid, how are you supposed to take them seriously? By looking at their facial hair, that’s how. We count down the top 10 beards/mustaches in media history.
10. Michael Cudlitz as Abraham Ford – “The Walking Dead”
While Cudlitz plays a hardened military sergeant we only take him seriously because of his symmetric and flowing mustache. Somehow that thing gracefully wraps around his mouth and stops at the exact point where his chin meets his neck. The best part is that he doesn’t even connect the two sides at his chin. He makes gingers look badass; which is the other reason Cudlitz’s mustache would intimidate us (cause are gingers really that scary?)
9. Wes Bentley as Seneca Crane – “The Hunger Games”
Seneca Crane was a devious dude and a decent villain but his beard was what really made the character. We’ve seen designs in hair before but designs in beards are another level. His beard is short and full at the same time covering his face evenly. Even better is the way the edges of the beard swirl into a wave and points that come away from his lips. The man pretty much has a “w” on his chin with his sideburns looking like he has a combover.
8. Mr. T as Clubber Lang – “Rocky 3”
Mr. T hails from the decade of tacky fashion both in clothing and hairstyles. While his mohawk is somewhat acceptable today. his play on muttonchops hits below the belt. Mr. T’s appearance in “Rocky 3” basically looks like his head was upside down with most of his hair on his chin and a brazilian wax on top. The thickness of his sideburns and the thin mustache holding everything in place don’t help either but when compared to the bare skinned Rocky back then, Clubber Lang looked like he deserved the title. I pity the fool that still rocks that style today though.
7. Sheamus (Stephen Farrelly)- WWE
People may not recognize the name Stephen Farrelly or even the name Sheamus but besides being a WWE world champion he will play Rocksteady in “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows” later this year. He’s on this list for one reason: whenever he comes out the crowd chants “You look stupid!”. Hopefully they don’t that during the movie.
6. Robbie Coltrane as Rubeus Hagrid – “Harry Potter” series
This beard is not only long because of Hagrid being part giant, it’s just long period. Plus Hagrid has never heard of grooming so his beard somehow connects to the hair on top of his head. Strangely though his beard doesn’t give off the homeless person look.
5. Selma Hayek as Madame Truska – “Cirque du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant”
I didn’t say this list was male exclusive. While Selma Hayek would normally be higher than 5 on any other list she’s a solid 5 here as being the only woman and having a more epic beard than most men. Hayek is the bearded lady in a freak show but that just makes us stare more instead of turning away out disappointment. Give those makeup artists props because Hayek retains her sexy alluring look while sporting one of the healthiest full beards a (wo)man could get.
4. Will Ferrell as Mugatu – “Zoolander” series
Calling this man homeless would cause him to snap. Mugatu takes pride in his looks as a male model so we can only guess that he purposely made his soul patch look like a mini white hot flame. If you look closely he actually has some stubble that causes a gradient into the soul patch. Don’t be fooled by his crazy form fitting jumpsuits cause anyone willing to rock that facial hair is a bad dude.
3. Wolverine (Hugh Jackman)- X2
Every time Hugh Jackman plays Wolverine he always sports the right amount of hair to scream masculinity. It’s in the sequel to the X-Men movie: X2 though that Jackman’s facial hair captures the perfect blend of wild animal with rugged man. It makes sense considering he’s his own razor blade.
2. Ian McKellen as Gandalf the White – “Lord of the Rings” series and “The Hobbit”
There’s always the debate over Gandalf beating Dumbledore and vice versa but in terms of beards Gandalf wins. His age and his stress clearly shows on his face which is what makes his beard more epic. Gandalf could tell you some stories of when he had to kick some ass and still look like he’s ready for another round; almost as if he’s a retired soldier begging for an excuse to leave retirement.
Honorary Mention: Charlie Chaplin (Anything He’s Ever Done)
The very first man to be famous for his facial hair. He rocked that mustache so he could stand out from anywhere. Unfortunately Hitler had the same style and ruined it for him along with everyone else. If you need reference watch the time machine scene at the end of the movie “Idocracy”.
1. Tom Selleck (Anything He’s Ever Done)
The man might as well have been born with his mustache. In fact we think his mustache might have doubled in size since his “Magnum PI” days. He’s shaved that thing only a handful of times but no one really remembers that. No matter how he styles his hair that mustache is the perfect accessory.