Bill Belechick is a grandfather now, and he’s not going to deal with this goddamn technology bullshit anymore.
Until this season, Belechick gamely tried to work with the NFL’s adoption of Microsoft sideline tablets, intended to help coaches keep track of their plays and get an eagle’s eye view of the game; but now, the Patriots coach officially “just can’t take it anymore.”
The whole tablet business isn’t working out for Belechick, who threw his tablet in fit of impotent rage after dealing with technical difficulties earlier this season:
Now, Belechick joins the chorus of disillusioned baby boomers everywhere, officially giving up on the supposedly helpful sideline tech. When asked about malfunctioning headsets during a recent game, Belechick’s answer devolved into a truly epic 5-minute rant against the flaws of the sideline tablets.
“As you probably noticed, I’m done with the tablets.They’re just too undependable for me,” said Belicheck. “I’m going to stick with pictures, which several of our other coaches do, as well, because their just isn’t enough consistency in the performance of the tablets. I just can’t take it anymore. […] I’ll use the paper pictures from here on, because I just have given it my best shot. I’ve tried to work through the process. But it just doesn’t work for me, and that’s because there’s no consistency to it.”
You go, Bill! Football’s about touchdowns, not touchscreens, GODDAMNIT.