2016 was the Chinese year of the Monkey.
And apparently, it was the “Tinder” year of Chris and Samantha.
End of the year means statistics, updates, and lists lists lists. Way too many numbered news articles full of the worst of this, and the best of that, all according to some person who you probably think is full of shit yet you read anyway and then quote later when put on the spot around on the dinner table.
But there was one list we especially appreciated this year, if just for the absurdity of it all. You see, at the end of this year Tinder did us all the unnecessary honor of releasing the most popular names on the app, in Australia. Now we’re going to ignore the obvious social commentary here, and deviate to one website’s interpretation of the material.
Mashable has taken the list, and google imaged each name to see just who were talking about when we say that more people swiped right on Chris than any other man’s name.
And it’s hilariously unenlightening.
Chris are lucky in that they have some serious celebrity backing. But unfortunate in that they range from beautiful Chris Hemsworth to…Chris Christy.
We’re talking aesthetics folks. I would have singled out Chris Farley as the other end of the spectrum but then I remembered he’s got some sexy cartwheel moves.
Anyway Chris, congrats on the popularity. And new parents, if you’re stumped…just pick C.
What? Oh that’s right, Australia.
Clearly Mashables research team used a very American google search engine, cause all they ended up with was skateboards.
I’m squinting, but there could be some charmers in there.
Apparently, most Lukes look quite similar.
I mean sure, but it’s not just that they’re white – which is abundantly clear – it’s the hair cuts, the outfits. I suppose you could pick up a button-up, cut your hair, and with a quick name change you’re automatic Tinder gold.
Good luck. Now the ladies.
As Mashable points out, these are all of Indian actress Samantha Ruth Prabhu. You are probably not as attractive as her.
If you are, I don’t believe you. Next.
These seem to all be professional photographs. Oh, and a painting (which given the time, is basically a professional photograph.)
Maybe this means…get a professional. Or serve as president.
Finally, we end the list with one that actually makes sense. If those beautiful countrysides showed up on my Tinder, I’d be swiping right all day.
Awe, Montana. Keep em green, wild and overgrown. Keep em square.