One of the many perks of being a wizard is avoiding the logistical nightmare of mundane nonmagical travel. Without the advantage of broomsticks, Apparition, Floo powder, or even flying Ford Anglias, we Muggles have to rely on the the historically unreliable F train, the often deceitful Google Maps, and the primordial hellscape that is Delta Airlines.
In the present-day ~real world~, Newt Scamander’s Pre-Potter adventures in FANTASTIC BEASTS AND WHERE TO FIND THEM get shut down by Customs faster than you can say “stop sniffing my luggage, you meddling Beagle.” If Scamander were just a plain old Muggle with freakish pets, getting his furry friends into the U.S. would have been nearly impossible–not to mention expensive. And as Newt’s a whimsical hobo naturalist, we doubt he’s got a lot of galleons in the bank. No magic Mary Poppins suitcase, no cigar. So many damned bureaucratic hoops to jump through when you’re trying smuggle potentially dangerous magic animals over international borders!
Luckily for us, British baggage company Global Luggage has taken it upon themselves to calculate the exact costs of bringing each of his fantastic beasts into the USA with this handy infographic. Check it out:
TLDR: it ain’t cheap.
The total price for shipping the beasts comes out to a thoroughly depraved $253,637.33. Which I guess makes sense when you consider the not-so-chill repercussions of transporting illegal magic creatures in naught but a shoddy little suitcase, as we see in the film itself. But without that magical/historical loophole, we’d have no plot, and therefore, no movie.
So thank god for magic suitcases (in cinema), and thank god for TSA (in strictly non-fictional situations).
Thanks also to Global Luggage for calculating and creating this infographic. They’re truly doing Merlin’s work.