Doritos To Release Chip Bag With Built In Music Player for Guardians of the Galaxy 2 | YUYU YUYU

Doritos To Release Chip Bag With Built In Music Player for Guardians of the Galaxy 2

Crummy April 26, 2017 May 1st, 2017 doritos music bag

Disclaimer: When I first heard about this I thought it was a joke…a late April Fools prank or something…but rest assured it. is. not.

Guardians of the Galaxy vol. 2 is right around the corner (coming out May 5) so it makes sense that product tie-ins are starting to roll out. Now don’t get me wrong, capitalism works ceaselessly toward an entropic state of meaningless and/or tasteless consumer goods. 2009’s James Bond flick Casino Royale had a tie in popsicle with Daniel Craig’s ripped body:

Not to mention the classic ‘make-out-with-Jar-Jar-Binks’ lollipop tie-in from the Phantom Menace:

These above examples are tasteless (albeit not flavorless) twists on things that children put in their mouths.

Someone involved with marketing, either at Doritos or Marvel, had a different idea…instead of Groot shaped (or flavored) chips, they could put a small digital music player into their packaging so the customers could listen to the GotG 2 soundtrack. This makes perfect sense!

Clearly Doritos wants to be a one stop shop…instead of grabbing a bag of chips and then downloading some mp3s onto your smartphone or computer, why not just plug right into the bag itself. This is the future isn’t it…

I, for one, am still holding out for a bag of pierogi flavored chips that plays polka classics. Or maybe gefilte fish flavored chips that play Klezmer but I’m just some old-school European freak. The thing about capitalism is you gotta know what the public likes…and by g*d they LOVE Guardians of the Galaxy…and Doritos….and well curated collections of #tbt tunes.

Even though this idea is objectively ridiculous, I bet it’s gonna sell…and even if it doesn’t the movie and the chips will sell separately…like mad. These people are rich, they’ll always be rich and they’re bound to get richer. But hey, at least you live in a world where you can listen to music on a bag of chips. B26ig fucking whoop.