I would like to welcome you to what’s universally accepted as the best time of year: AUTUMN. That’s right: FUCK YOU SUMMER. I’m glad your humid ass is gone!!
We’ve only got so long before the impending doom of like 6-month winter due to climate change (probably, shockingly I’m not a meteorologist and I didn’t bother to Google), so I’m here to tell you which movies you need to watch to get the full enjoyment of the Pumpkin Spice Season.
Good Will Hunting
Because unlike the Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything, Will Hunting has actually been to Boston in the fall. In fact, it’s the backdrop for the whole movie. See also: apple references. Apples are super fucking autumnal.
“Do you like apples? Well, I got her number. How do you like them apples?”
Winnie The Pooh (2011)
It’s a 100 acre wood. Leaves sometimes fall. What could be more autumn??
“A Pooh Bear takes care of his tummy / He fills it with things that are sweet / A Pooh Bear takes care of his tummy / By never forgetting to eat.”
Side note: by these parameters, I am a Pooh bear.
Dead Poet’s Society
This movie makes me want to tear up just thinking about it, and it’s damn fall. There’s something about private schools and uniforms that definitely make me feel like I’m smelling pumpkin-flavored baked goods. Hopefully I’m not just having a stroke.
“Mr. Nolan, it’s for you. It’s God. He says we should have girls at Welton.”
That one movie you watched thinking it was a cute kids movie, and then realized it was wicked fucked up. Who was showing this content to their children??? Also pilgrims come back from the dead for that fall Thanksgiving aesthetic.
“Can you see my dog, Bub? He was hit by an animal rescue van. Tragic and ironic.”
The Princess Bride
Rolling down beautiful hills and traipsing through dangerous wooded areas! Fall as fuck! Plus great Halloween costume inspiration.
“Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”
(I mean, duh).
Farm house. Ghost in trees. #Fall.
“There’s a lady in a dirty nightgown that I see in my dreams. She’s standing in front of my mom’s bed.”
If you didn’t immediately think of Bruce Bogtrotter essentially shotgunning a giant chocolate cake as soon as you read this movie title, you probably haven’t actually seen it.
I cannot for the life of me understand why small children take so long to grow up. I think they do it deliberately, just to annoy me.
Watch this to celebrate the most diabetic of all holidays! Also to see Sarah Jessica Parker give the performance of her career.
“Oh look, another glorious morning. Makes me sick.”
Let’s be real, it was the winter that really fucked things up here. All fall they were just chillin’ in a gorgeous hotel with a cool as fuck hedge maze outside.
Come play with us, Danny. Forever and ever and ever.
This makes the cut because Space Jam is appropriate for any and all times and you should be watching the fuck out of it. Also, basketball starts in the fall, whatever, I’m giving you a great excuse to watch an #iconic movie.
Woah, I don’t play defense.